The "Goofiest" Of All Fishing Trips

There are a lot of places in this world where one cancorporation, gave us some interesting facts on her
go to find solace, peace and tranquility while wettingbackground with Disney World. Having spent the first
a line for fish.Walt Disney World in Orlando Florida ispart of her career with Disney in "guest relations" she
not the first place that comes to mind.Nonetheless,had mainly handled "guest" complaints, so the fishing
right there beneath the shadow of the Magicguide position she had held for the last eight years
Kingdom, amongst wide-eyed roller coaster riders, awas a welcome relief. She had grown up in Louisiana
stones throw from Tinkerbell's safety harness, existsfishing for bass, and she was well qualified for
one of the prime Largemouth Bass fishing watersobviously one of the most coveted positions that
you will find anywhere.Remote? No.Pristine?the 70,000 or so folks on the Disney World payroll
Hardly.Filled with hungry fat Largemouth Bass....YES!!I'mcould have. Spending your day out on the water
not really sure what compelled me to book a twoaway from the crowds certainly seemed a better
hour Disney Bass fishing adventure.I don't know if Itour of duty, than trying to manipulate a pen with
was curious that possibly a rather large mouse mightoversized paws inside a large fur coat in 90 degree
show up at the dock with a fishing vest full ofweather.But that's just me.We motored on by the
sponsor patches,and a big wad of chew between hisbig ferry boat loaded with another group of guests
cheek and gum. Or, if mechanical alligators might raiseready for a d-day like assault on the Magic Kingdom,
up out of the water- jaws agape-while I reachedand pulled up to the shallows near an island. I knew I
down to pick up my bass by the lips. Or, if perhapswould have to catch my fish early on, before the
cannonballs might be landing dangerously close to the"estrogen" effect would occur and I would be
boat as we all sang yo-ho yo- ho a fisherman's liferelegated to camera duty.Even though catch and
for me....Or maybe, just maybe, after wanderingrelease is the practice on these waters, live bait is still
around the Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Epcotthe bait of choice. Being a steelhead and salmon
and MGM for four days, bouncing off of an endlessfisherman from Oregon I was unfamiliar with the little
stream of six year olds with attached parents in"shiners" that they use down south to produce the
tow,eating space burgers,frontier burgers,Yetibig bass, but as if on cue, within a minute of tossing
burgers, and trying to figure out how to amusethe little fellar into the drink I had my first largemouth
myself in line for 60 minutes while waiting to haveon--and it was a nice one too!I hoisted a chubby four
the POOH scared out of me.....maybe, just maybe Ipound bass onto the boat, and as I grabbed him by
thought that I might just find a few hours awaythe "largemouth" I made sure he was real, and not
from the hustle,bustle and silent freakish stares ofsome animatronic Disney bass that was about to
Chip and Dale.I must admit, as we were making plansbreak into a chorus of "You ain't nothin' but a hound
for a family trip to the mother of all amusementdog".Pretty soon Sara, my daughter, had her first
parks, I had spotted this fishing adventure on thebass on and mom was right behind her with her first
Disney website. As my wife locked us in for fivebass.Dang, the estrogen had kicked in early.As
days of "Disney Magic", I writhed in agony wonderingpromised, Disney had already delivered a great family
just how many princesses there must be if it takesexperience and since most of the fish caught by my
five days to see them.My six year old daughter wasdaughter had been crappie sized fish out of her
obviously thrilled.Being a card carrying member of theGrandpa's pond, the look of excitement that Sara
"I want to go fishing club", I figured this may be myhad on her face when she hoisted her first
only opportunity to sneak in some fishing on this trip.largemouth bass was well worth the price of
And if you have ever looked at a map of theadmission.We each caught several more bass with
Orlando area, you will see that this is an abundantthe biggest running close to five pounds.Sara, like any
area of lakes, not to mention short drives to thesix year old, quickly lost interest in the labor involved
coastal areas and ocean fishing galore. In other wordswith catching fish, and turned her interest to the
it was killing me, knowing how close to great fishing I"shiners" swimming in the live well.I guess you might
was--but unless they had trout swimming along thesay she took a shine to 'em!! HA!Anyway, she
waterways of Splash Mountain--I was never going tobecame are unofficial "shiner" go-fer, and kept the
see any of them.So, after the third day of posing forlittle fish in shape, by chasing them around trying to
pictures with oversized rodents, dragons, and perkycatch them with her bare hands.After a short dry
princesses, I called the Disney central reservation linespell, we headed off to other "pristine" waters. This
for "active fun"-as if screaming and doing isometricspot happened to be at the ferry landing, where all
hand grips on Expedition Everest, or oglingthe people line up for the d-day assault.Under the
Pocahontas is not considered active fun!- and bookedwatchful eyes of hundreds of Disney patrons and a
a bass fishing trip for the next morning. Evidently, thecouple of Herons and Egrets, we went bass fishing.
line and waiting period for the "largemouth bass ride"After landing another big chubby in front of the
is not nearly as long as the wait for Peter Pan,bored line sitters, they all let out a loud cheer and like
because the nice girl (I think it may have beenthe shy fella I am, I hoisted my trophy like I had just
Cinderella) was able to get us a fishing trip out of thewon Bassmaster's $10,000 first prize on
Contemporary Hotel Marina with no problem.Didn'tESPN.Unfortunately, one of our released fish didn't
even have to get a FastPass!!Best of all, we didn'tfare to well and soon was floating belly up near the
have to get up early. We were scheduled for 10:00ferry boat. A Heron made a heroic effort to hoist
a.m.Like all Disney events and productions, greatthe big fish from the waters, but the two pound fish
attention to detail and planning is done to insure thewas too much and he retired back to his front row
perfect family experience. That is why catch andseat on shore.Although there is always going to be a
release is the practice on Seven Seas lagoon and Baycertain amount of attrition, even when you are
lake, (the two primary fishing waters at Walt Disneycatching and releasing fish, I think the Disney folks
World) and probably a big reason for the reliablewould just as soon their bass went belly up away
fishery.AND like all Disney adventures andfrom the gates to Fantasyland, and we soon had a
productions, the perfect family experience has it'sradio call from Holly's boss telling us to move from
price.$230.00 for two hours of fishing!That's a lottathe docks-because it was too windy.Seemed odd
rubber worms.In fairness, that is the rental of thesince there was only the faintest of breezes in the
boat and the boat can handle up to fiveair.We still felt bad, and certainly didn't want to be
fishermen(four if they are wearing mouse ears.) soresponsible for kids being permanently scarred for
really you technically can get it under fifty bucks alife, so we moved.Not that Disney does anything to
person.AND like all Disney events-it was well worthever permanently scar kids!!??It was just as well,
the price to see the excited look on my daughtersbecause by now my wife was using her unfair
face when I told her we were gonna catch us " aestrogen advantage to outfish me two to one, which
messa bass".Most of the guides showed up at thewas even noticed by the ferry boat- line operator,
marina a few minutes early and looked like they hadwho made it a point to walk over to our boat and
part time roles on The Animal Planet. The boats weretell us of his keen observation.Darn estrogen.By the
spotless, fully equipped and ready to go. Since theretime we motored our way back into Bay lake our
were three of us and we had a "little one" on board,"two hour cruise" was pretty much at an end. Of
we were given a pontoon type boat rather than acourse there was still the matter of settling up on
bass boat.I expected Steve the crocodile hunter tothe bill, and receiving a nice complimentary
be our guide for the day,but as it turned out oursubscription to a bass fishing magazine---which of
guide was to be a lovely lady by the name ofcourse happens to be owned by Disney.....As we left
Holly.Guess Goofy had the day off.After quickthe boat and headed back into the perfect world of
introductions we were on board our Tracker and onmagical princesses, long lines, and the ever present
our way.Now, for those of you that have read anygift shops, I couldn't help but think that I had just got
previous articles I have written, you will quickly realizeoff the best ride at Disney World.Well-except for the
that I was going fishing with three members of theMad Tea Cups....A.J. Klott
"e-factor" estrogen fishing society. If you are notAuthor, writer of fishing humor,and "fly tack"
familiar with this secret society, let's just say that Ipeddler.A.J. writes about the people,characters and
had about as much of a chance of outfishing thesemodern day events that surround the fishing world.
ladies as getting a date with Ariel or Snow White.AsHis first book is now out and being sold out of the
we motored our way out of the natural waters ofback of a 1976 Opal Cadet.Coming to your town
Bay lake and into the man made Seven Seas lagoon,soon.
Holly, a veteran of over twenty years in the Disney